BEACHHOUSE - The Review

TICKET COLLECTION
A few of my colleagues may no doubt submit a separate review or posibly comment so I wont spend too much time here on it. I will simply say that Trinidad Fete Tickets will have a HARD TIME redeeming themselves in the future after the fiasco this year and their unprofessionalism with offering a resolve. I know they won't be getting my money again! I was fortunate to have my tickets reserved at the Beach House location in Trinidad when I first learnt of the TFT fiasco and I collected on time as stipulated in my email to the Beach House committee. I collected my tickets and began to notify my colleagues who had requested tickets through me that their quota was CUT by a significant amount and that had to do with the overall Beach House Management situation.

BEACH HOUSE - THE COMMUTE
There was unnecessary traffic on the road to Beach House, the highway was cool smooth sailing but as you get to the turn-off for Beachhouse, traffic ensued. Kudos to the ever so reliable and present Beach House signs.

BEACH HOUSE - THE FETE
Arriving at the venue around the same time in 2010 proved to be futile. The crowd at this point (2:30pm - 2:45PM) was at capacity in my opinion. Beach House was PACKED!!! The lines at the bar could be seen as soon as you clear the hill to enter the venue and the lines for the food, deceiving at first BUT EVER PRESENT once you got closer. The menu while it definitely was different from 2010 was tasty and the service was patient and courteous but also vigilant and made sure you got "just enough". Now let me clarify, just so that its not ALL disconcerting - rewind to 2010, enter Beach House, everyone dressed casual but certainly styled to the max, the bar service GREAT and the food lines, non-existent. WHY?, mainly because everything at Beach House in 2010 was buffet style and while you had to line up, the lines were not as bad as they were this year.

Now in events leading up to Beach House 2011 one could assimilate that overcrowding was going to be an issue, BEACH HOUSE 2011 certainly bypassed ISSUE status, it passed it on the Uriah Butler Highway. This event had gone to the dogs! And they were feeding you as such too. One trip to the "appetizer" line to walk out with a hulking piece of wild meat on your plate so big it couldn't hold anything else. And its the prettiest chicks you seeing walking out with these monstrous "appetizers". I know I wont have to tell you about the couple fights that broke out in "said" area in "said" line. You will no doubt know the reason: of course "miss thing" will choose to wait till she reach in front the WHOLE LINE to text she pals to tell them she reach in front and then them swarm in... Well the Brooklyn posse was not having that and they got REAL FLATBUSH ON THEM REAL FAST!!!!

The bathrooms were nice and neat as it always is, we could have done without the million cans of after shave that was stacked next to the pipes. I mean come on, shaving cream? Really?

Fast forward to the music which was sweet and the overall ambience of the night which was sobering at best I know I wont rate Beach House this year because had management been able to exercise the control they wanted to - it would have turned out into another wonderful fete. Beach House to you I say DONT CHANGE THE 2010 FORMULA, and pay particularly close attention to those who support you in 2012 because THEY will be your stalwarts! Your hiccup this year is only a growing pain, but alas, there will be those who wont easily forgive you - after all $800TT converted to ANY CURRENCY is a lot to ask of people to put up with sub-par service and broken promises....

SHADES - The Review

Given that everyone opted to go to the more traditional Carnival Saturday fetes such as Insomnia, Vale, SSU etc I opted to try something new (for me) from a group of promoters that have been impressing me with their caliber of customer service, execution of product and overall customer aquisition and retention practices. The Misty Ridge Crew does this VERY WELL and their parties are some of the best that I have been to!

SHADES was the perfect party to begin what would be an EPIC Trinidad Carnival experience. Set on the Hololo (sp?) Ranch in Santa Cruz, the drive was certainly a nice one in the wee hours of the morning to make the 4am starting time. I can tell you that you would welcome this drive at this hour considering that you could be stuck in traffic going to Insomnia or struggling for a parking spot headed to Vale. I have been to both of these events and can tell you that SHADES trumps them both BAR NONE!

The parking situation when we arrived was smooth, attendants directed you to your spot and made sure that you were aligned properly for easy (or early) exits if need be - they made sure they asked if you intended to stay for the entire fete or if you think you may have to leave. This was a very smart move because this made way for easy flowing traffic both to get in and out of the venue! Kudos to them!

Reaching the party at exactly 4am (yes I am an early bird at a $450 price tag) I was pleasantly surprised to hear the welcome call by the DJ (who is pictured below) who made sure that we were indeed present to answer the call and begin jamming to his rhythmic sounds. Now let it be known that at $450 I expected a late start, DJ setting up late and food not ready - BOY WAS I SURPRISED!! Beachhouse could take a NOTEPAD on this fete! EVERYTHING (EVERY SINGLE THING) was ready at 4am and follow up to ensure freshness (i.e extra batter for the omelettes, freshly cut replacement condiments and even staff to replace the potty people in the bathroom was on hand)

Now let me say this! And this may gross some people out but what the hell its a BLOG - we share!! You SHOULD ALWAYS GO A FETE WHERE YOU COULD TAKE A PROPER SHIT! And that means that no-one likes to party clenching dey bottom and we all know that even the best of us no matter how hard we try to "go" before we leave the house, it never quite happens that way all of the time. For me, SHADES was that fete! - I got up promptly at 3:15am and began to do meh prance to ensure that before I leave the house I will use de bathroom, therefore, I could consume all de alcohol and food that SHADES had to offer and most likely, by the time I have to "go" again it would be time to go home. I mean we all know this ritual - let's not be coy. THAT WAS NOT THE CASE! I mean I know I had to "go" but it just was not "coming out" and I WAS NOT about to miss meh ride to Santa Cruz HELL NAW!!! - So off I go get dressed and discretely placed my wipes in meh back pocket because I know I will want to "go" when ah "reach"!!!!

Fast forward to me reaching the secluded venue of SHADES and what a change from MISTY RIDGE (all de smoke gone) is now lights in yuh tail!! Ah wine as soon as I reached - I was ready - especially after that DJ welcome call. I climbed the stairs and entered the fete and found meh spot!! Feeling a lil hungry I went over to the food offerings for the day - again expecting to be routed in a chain of lines like I am at a local bank, I was pleasantly surprised to see that non existed and the food was buffet style! What a sight: Bake and Shark WITH ALL THE TRIMMINGS, Sada Roti, Fresh Fruit, Custom Made Omelettes, the list went on and on and I certainly didn't have time to complete the list because of ALL TIMES NOW I HAVE TO .... (right)!

Gone to the bathroom now I expecting to have to well choose meh potty correctly and toilet paper down de seat etc etc - well ah still do that yuh know but here's the difference, you know when you open the toilet you does prepare for dat stench so yuh hold yuh nose and then enter? - I still do that BUT I didnt have to hold for long - Once I inhale fresh lavender inside that potty I knew I was about to take AH PROPER ONE - hear nah SHIT JUST FLOWED!!!! (Pun very well intended) I send about three text messages, check meh facebook status, wine to de side on de toilet, wipe de sweat off meh head (yea dais how good it was) and THEN I arise from meh portable THRONE for 20 minutes... YES 20 minutes - ah tell yuh I had AH PROPER ONE!! So meanwhile I thinking "lawd, it would not have nobody outside so everybody go know is me who toots?" NAH - none ah dat!! SHADES potty posse was seen and heard opening all de stalls refreshing it - throwing ammonia and making sure its clean for the next deserving client! And that my friends ALONE will get my money EVERY YEAR!!! I take ah proper one and I was rhell happy after that - AH WINE LOW!!!!

Talking about wining now - when ah reach back, ah give meh friends de joke but I talk about it so much now dem want to shit too!! STEUPSE I tell yuh never see come see but when yuh have to go - yuh have to go!!!

The music at this point (9am) SWEET!!! SUN come out with a vengeance that I simply could not contain mehself, I had to submit to "de ice block" after the man wash off de ice from dem other mouths I proceeded to have my fair share of shots! That only RAISED my temperature higher!!! - Now I was sweating profusely and music still jamming... Praise God for the water hose they brought out... At this point PRPS Jeans, Custom Y3 sneakers and Vintage PUCCI TShirt OUT DE WINDOW - I WAS HOT!!! And I needed to be cooled... I take off all them clothes and jump in de ppl POOL... Yes ever so stoosh Daryl was in de ppl pool - PAPARAZZI HEAVEN!!! But at last I was cool...



Conclusion - SHADES was one of the best fetes I was at for Trinidad Carnival 2011. It was very well planned and lived up to every expectation and more that I had in mind. I was entirely pleased and so was everyone I came with. It is now a staple in my carnival itenerary and to the promoters I say - DO NOT CHANGE THE FORMULA - It is fully endorsed... WE LIKE IT!!!! (Enjoy the pics, courtesy Triniscene and feel free to comment!)

Honorable Mention:
Corn Soup Lady - BEST Ive had in a long time! She tell meh de secret is pimento seasoning!
Potty Posse - For obvious reasons disclosed above
BAR STAFF- Wait I didn't review them, but you know I had to be properly well drunk to do half de shit I do at Shades so there you go!